二世卡盧自白：我被喇嘛性侵，藏傳佛教是金錢、權力、控制、交易、政治的淵藪 (Confessions of Kalu Rinpoche)

〔英文文字稿出處〕http://downthecrookedpath-meditation-gurus.blogspot.com/2011/12/confessions-of-kalu-rinpoche_04.html

〔譯者前言〕這是我藉助翻譯軟體翻的，或許不完全精準，敬請高手不吝指正。年輕小卡盧的自白，掀出藏傳佛教不為人知的真實秘密：喇嘛們性侵成癖，以及藏傳佛教喇嘛們的本質是政客、不是修行人。就像夏瑪巴 (Sharmapa) 揭露尼達爾 (Ole Nydahl) 性交修行一樣，小卡盧勇於自爆家醜、現身說法，直指藏密的黑暗本質。這能否促使更多藏密喇嘛幡然自省、勇於改革？值得關注。

http://youtu.be/z5Ka3bEN1rs



「我9歲的時候，父親去世了；我的生活非常艱困。大家都認為說卡盧仁波切過著非常舒適的生活。人們都這麼想，因為上一任卡盧仁波切很受人們歡迎。至於我，我父親去世了，我被送到另一個寺院，大約12、13歲的時候，我被其他的喇嘛性侵。所以對我來說，我不相信喇嘛們。我15歲的時候，我離開了我的根本上師去潛修3年。我潛修的那3年當中，沒有人在乎我，沒有人知道我在哪裡。潛修3年後，所有的人一下子對我感興趣，因為他們認為我有顯赫的資格以及我能記得我的過去世；然而事實並不是那麼一回事。有些人說我被寺院逐出，不是的，我的意思是我潛修了3年。我潛修了 3年，很多人開始造謠，說我踢開我的母親、我的家人、以及自己的老師。其實，並不是那樣的。我的老師想殺我，我說的是事實。那時的我非常傳統，是一個很傳統的佛教行者。他們企圖殺掉我，因為我不肯做他們想要我做的事。當時我是一個很傳統的人，他試圖用刀子和其他凶器殺我，當時我非常驚嚇。後來他走掉了，因為他意識到自己這樣是不對的，所以他走開了。

我從來沒有踢開任何人。有2年半的時間，我與家人有著誤解；而最近，大約6個月前，我和我的家庭重新聯繫，一切都很好。我18歲時，一切的大問題發生在我身上，有一位經理人(manager) 試圖殺掉我以及一切；那跟金錢、權力、控制有關，因為如果你可以控制龍頭，你就可以得到想要的一切。事情就是那樣。然後，你知道，因為這一切的誤解，我混亂了，我變成一個吸毒者。我成了一個酒鬼，我成了一名吸毒者。我做了很多瘋狂的事情，但不是壞事。後來我問我的根本上師，我的生命到底是怎麼一回事，因為我所看到的這些佛教徒都不是佛教徒─他們看起來像佛教徒，說起話來像佛教徒，行為像佛教徒─我因此感到很困惑。他說：「你有能力改變你組織裏的傳承結構。」所以，這就是我正嘗試著做的，我試圖建立一個派別(school)，為可憐的人們重建組織。因為對我來說，佛教及它所有的宗教組織、精神組織，都是為了保護社會、保護環境、保護我們的自我；以及教人們遠離弱點，認識真正的真諦。我要做一切對社會最好的事，因此我計劃重建宗派和我的生活，而這並不容易。

有很多人不喜歡我，也有很多人喜歡我；不管人們喜歡或不喜歡我，都不能改變我是我。所以，我會盡一切所能，盡我的責任。但結構需要改變，而佛法也必須進入我們的生活。但這並不是說你必須遠離家人。如果你連自己的家人都不能幫助他們，就不要想著有情眾生。所以，首先，負責是非常重要的。你知道，我不希望佛教涉入交易、政治。不。我希望佛教能給社會美好的印象，了解社會。這是我的觀點，並且我希望為我的計畫、宗派盡最大的力量，為社會做出最好的事。而我只是一個普通人，即使你和我共住1000年，我仍然會告訴你我只是人。沒有人是完美的。不論如何，每個人都要好好照顧自己，我現在活得很快樂。我不會改變我的方式，也不會改變我自己。我很高興我是我，最終我現在可以當我自己。所以我希望大家不要陷入迷惑，不要陷入迷惑，好嗎？如果你想成為一個佛教徒，你需要的是一個在精神上有生活經驗的人，就如同我曾經多次告訴你們的那樣。很抱歉有這麼多的車子噪音，因為我現在人在外頭。好好照顧自己。我很愛你們。我很快樂。請不用擔心。」

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＠ http://downthecrookedpath-meditation-gurus.blogspot.com/2011/12/confessions-of-kalu-rinpoche_04.html

Confessions of Kalu Rinpoche

"When I was 9 my father passed away and I had a very difficult life you know. People thinks that Kalu Rinpoche always lived in a very comfortable life. That's what all people been thinking of because the previous Kalu Rinpoche was popular. For me, my father past away, I was transported to different Monastery and when I was like 12 and 13, I've been sexually abused by other monks. So for me I don't believe in monks so much you know, so you know and when I was 15 I did 3 years retreat from the guidance of my Root Guru you know and then like and I did 3 years retreat and no body cares about me so much you know. Nobody knows where I am, how I am you know and after 3 years retreat, all the people are interested because you know they kind of think that I have this great qualification and something which I can remember about my past life and it's nothing like that. And then some people just said I kick out from I, when I came out from my Monastery. no I mean when I came out from the 3 year retreat I mean. When I came out from 3 years retreat and many people were making roomer's and saying that I kicked out my mother, my family and you know, I kicked out my own teacher. Actually, it's nothing like that. My own Tutor, he tried to kill me, that's the truth. and I was at that time, I was really traditional. Very good traditional Buddhist practitioner. They tried to kill me because you know, I am not doing what they want me to do. You know it's that time I was really really good you know. A traditional person you know and then he tried to kill me with the knife and everything, and it was a shocking moment for me. And after that he left because when he realized about his own mistake how can he still live with me. So he left.

I never kicked out anybody. I had a family misunderstanding for 2 years and a half, and recently like 6 months ago, I had a family reconnection and everything is good and after that you know well when I was 18 I had all these big problems you know, then one manager tried to kill me and everything. It's all about money, power, controlling because if you can control the president, you can get what you want. That's the way it is and you know and then I became a drug addict because of all this misunderstanding and you know I went crazy. I became an alcoholic, I became a drug addict. I did lots of crazy things but not the bad things and then after that I asked my root Guru you know what is going on with my life I don't know because I see all these Buddhist people who are not Buddhist. They look like a Buddhist and they sound like a Buddhist and they act like a Buddhist and I am so confused. He said, "Rinpoche you have the capacity to change the structure in your own lineage in your Buddhist organization". So that's why I'm trying to do, trying to build a school and to build my own structure for the poor people because for me the Buddhism and all this religious organization, spiritual organization it's all about how to protect the society, how to protect the environment, how to protect our self. How to be afar from the weakness, how to understand the true meaning of point. And so you know I will do whatever is best for society so that's why I plan to build a school and my life it's not easy.

There's lots of people who doesn't like me and there's lots of people who likes me. Whether you like it or not of who I am it doesn't change in the person who I am. So I will do everything I can I'm my responsibility's but the structure needs to be changed and the Buddhas teachings has to get involved in our personal life. It doesn't mean that you have to get away from your family. Stop thinking about sentient being if you can't help your own family. So first to be responsible is really important. You know I don't want Buddhism to get involved in business politics. No, I want Buddhism to bring a beautiful image to society and to understand society. That my point of view and wish me the best for my project, for my school which I can do the best for the society. And I'm just a normal human being even you live with me like 1,000 years I will still tell you, I'm just a human being. I always will be and no one is perfect, everyone is perfect. Anyways all of you people take care, and I'm happy with my life. I'm not going to change the way I am and I'm not going to change who I am. I'm happy I am and at the end I can be myself now. So I wish for all of you, don't fall into confusion, don't fall into confusion about this O.K. If you want to be a Buddhist all you need is the one person who has a spiritual understanding life experience as I've told you many times. I'm so sorry for the cars running here there because I'm outside. Take care. I love you very much and I'm happy don't worry.''