〔譯者前言〕這是我藉助翻譯軟體翻的，或許不完全精準，敬請高手不吝指正。年輕小卡盧的自白，掀出藏傳佛教不為人知的真實秘密：喇嘛們性侵成癖，以及藏傳佛教喇嘛們的本質是政客、不是修行人。就像夏瑪巴 (Sharmapa) 揭露尼達爾 (Ole Nydahl) 性交修行一樣，小卡盧勇於自爆家醜、現身說法，直指藏密的黑暗本質。這能否促使更多藏密喇嘛幡然自省、勇於改革？值得關注。
Confessions of Kalu Rinpoche
"When I was 9 my father passed away and I had a very difficult life you know. People thinks that Kalu Rinpoche always lived in a very comfortable life. That's what all people been thinking of because the previous Kalu Rinpoche was popular. For me, my father past away, I was transported to different Monastery and when I was like 12 and 13, I've been sexually abused by other monks. So for me I don't believe in monks so much you know, so you know and when I was 15 I did 3 years retreat from the guidance of my Root Guru you know and then like and I did 3 years retreat and no body cares about me so much you know. Nobody knows where I am, how I am you know and after 3 years retreat, all the people are interested because you know they kind of think that I have this great qualification and something which I can remember about my past life and it's nothing like that. And then some people just said I kick out from I, when I came out from my Monastery. no I mean when I came out from the 3 year retreat I mean. When I came out from 3 years retreat and many people were making roomer's and saying that I kicked out my mother, my family and you know, I kicked out my own teacher. Actually, it's nothing like that. My own Tutor, he tried to kill me, that's the truth. and I was at that time, I was really traditional. Very good traditional Buddhist practitioner. They tried to kill me because you know, I am not doing what they want me to do. You know it's that time I was really really good you know. A traditional person you know and then he tried to kill me with the knife and everything, and it was a shocking moment for me. And after that he left because when he realized about his own mistake how can he still live with me. So he left.
I never kicked out anybody. I had a family misunderstanding for 2 years and a half, and recently like 6 months ago, I had a family reconnection and everything is good and after that you know well when I was 18 I had all these big problems you know, then one manager tried to kill me and everything. It's all about money, power, controlling because if you can control the president, you can get what you want. That's the way it is and you know and then I became a drug addict because of all this misunderstanding and you know I went crazy. I became an alcoholic, I became a drug addict. I did lots of crazy things but not the bad things and then after that I asked my root Guru you know what is going on with my life I don't know because I see all these Buddhist people who are not Buddhist. They look like a Buddhist and they sound like a Buddhist and they act like a Buddhist and I am so confused. He said, "Rinpoche you have the capacity to change the structure in your own lineage in your Buddhist organization". So that's why I'm trying to do, trying to build a school and to build my own structure for the poor people because for me the Buddhism and all this religious organization, spiritual organization it's all about how to protect the society, how to protect the environment, how to protect our self. How to be afar from the weakness, how to understand the true meaning of point. And so you know I will do whatever is best for society so that's why I plan to build a school and my life it's not easy.
There's lots of people who doesn't like me and there's lots of people who likes me. Whether you like it or not of who I am it doesn't change in the person who I am. So I will do everything I can I'm my responsibility's but the structure needs to be changed and the Buddhas teachings has to get involved in our personal life. It doesn't mean that you have to get away from your family. Stop thinking about sentient being if you can't help your own family. So first to be responsible is really important. You know I don't want Buddhism to get involved in business politics. No, I want Buddhism to bring a beautiful image to society and to understand society. That my point of view and wish me the best for my project, for my school which I can do the best for the society. And I'm just a normal human being even you live with me like 1,000 years I will still tell you, I'm just a human being. I always will be and no one is perfect, everyone is perfect. Anyways all of you people take care, and I'm happy with my life. I'm not going to change the way I am and I'm not going to change who I am. I'm happy I am and at the end I can be myself now. So I wish for all of you, don't fall into confusion, don't fall into confusion about this O.K. If you want to be a Buddhist all you need is the one person who has a spiritual understanding life experience as I've told you many times. I'm so sorry for the cars running here there because I'm outside. Take care. I love you very much and I'm happy don't worry.''